There is a conversation that many families know they need to have and keep putting off.
It is the one where parents share what their estate plan looks like, who is responsible for what, and what they want to happen if they are no longer able to make decisions for themselves. It is an important conversation. It is also, for many families, an uncomfortable one.
The discomfort is understandable. The topics involved, including death, incapacity, and the division of assets, are not easy to discuss. But we believe the families who have had this conversation are far better prepared than those who have not. And when the time comes that it matters, the difference can be significant.
Why the Conversation Matters
When families have not discussed estate plans in advance, the people left behind are often left guessing. Where are the documents? Who has the authority to make decisions? How did Dad want his things divided? What were Mom’s wishes for her business?
These are not small questions. Without clear answers, the process of settling an estate can stretch out over months and even years, incur avoidable legal costs, and create tension between family members at an already difficult time.
The alternative is a family that goes into that period informed. They know where the documents are. They know who the executor is. They have already heard, in their parents’ own words, what matters to them. That clarity does not make grief easier, but it can make everything else significantly more manageable.
What a Good Family Conversation Covers
A productive estate planning conversation touches on more than legal documents. Done well, it gives your family a clear picture of your wishes, your values, and the practical details they will need if they are ever called upon to act on your behalf. The following areas are worth covering.
Topics to Discuss
Start with the big picture. What are your overall goals for your estate, and what values do you want your plan to reflect? This is the place to talk about your wishes for specific assets and heirlooms, any charitable giving intentions, and, if relevant, plans for a family business.
It is also worth addressing long-term care preferences and plans for living arrangements, since these have significant financial implications and are often left out of the conversation until a crisis forces the issue.
Family dynamics and any sensitivities worth naming in advance belong here, too. Bringing them into the open, with care, can be far better than leaving them to surface on their own later.
Documents to Gather
Before the meeting, take time to pull together the documents your family may eventually need to locate: your will and trust documents, powers of attorney, advance healthcare directive, HIPAA authorization forms, life insurance policies, and real estate deeds and titles.
Equally important is making sure your family knows where these documents are kept, how to access your financial accounts, and where to find your digital assets and password information. These details seem easy to track down until the moment they are not, and that moment rarely comes at a convenient time.
Questions to Address as a Family
Some of the most valuable parts of this conversation are the specific questions it answers:
Who serves as executor, and do they know it?
Who holds financial power of attorney, and who holds healthcare power of attorney?
How will assets be divided, and is there a clear plan for the family home?
What form of long-term care would you want, and what are your end-of-life wishes?
Getting these answers on the table, in your own words, is one of the most concrete things you can do for the people you love. To help you organize your thoughts and come prepared, we have put together a Family Estate Planning Checklist that walks through all of the above. You can download it here.
Ready to Bring Your Family Together?
As fiduciary financial advisors, we act in your best interest. We are not attorneys and do not provide legal advice, but we work alongside your estate planning attorneys and CPAs and facilitate these kinds of family conversations for our clients. Having a trusted, objective advisor in the room can help keep the discussion on track, translate financial concepts into plain language, surface questions the family had not thought to ask, and help reassure you that nothing important has been left unaddressed.
If you are a Hassell client and would like to schedule a family estate-planning meeting, please reach out to your advisor. We can facilitate the conversation to help turn your estate wishes into clarity for your family.
If you are not yet a client but would like to work with a fiduciary financial advisor who can help you organize your financial life and support you through conversations like this one, we would be glad to connect. Schedule a complimentary call with a Wealth Advisor today.